Stories with Audio
Erica and the 18 hours
Were you not there?
Did you not see?
I’m sorry I just assumed you were.
It began calmly, just a passing comment really. “I think it’s started.” Is what I heard.
Calmly, that’s how it started.
A mellow fear, creeping calmly across my nervous system.
Stopping me from falling over.
Checklists in my head, slowly being ticked.
Helpful voices, drifting through the thickening fog.
That was my mind.
Nothing was happening to me.
But my mind was busy.
Should you, could you?
How could I help?
Should I, can I?
I tried to feel your rhythm.
And join you.
Share each moment, feel your pain.
I timed each movement with your words.
And smiled with the fear in your eyes.
Then it began again.
A new serenity entered the space.
A new joy that brought it’s own light.
And made you separate.
Which I knew might happen, could happen.
Did happen.
But I wasn’t really ready.
And I faltered.
Stumbled blindly, feeling useless.
Unable to make the slightest difference.
But love shone through
And took the pressure
So I had a breather.
Just a break, a little nap
But the experts
With their knowledge
Said that you were; doing fine.
It changed, well, not really, it continued.
Truth be known. It got more intense.
Slightly deeper.
But the experts said you were: doing fine.
So I continued calmly.
Watching, listening, checking lists.
Rubbing, pressing, fetching, waiting,
Staying calm and smiling widely.
Ignoring all my worries.
Denying all your pain.
Never showing any fear.
At least I didn’t think I did.
Then the experts
With their knowledge
Decided you weren’t; doing fine.
Fifteen hours had passed already.
A change of scene
Would do you good.
I can’t remember if there were sirens
But I remember
How sure you were
On what to wear, and that you
Were going to walk
Down
All those stairs.
And you did
And I walked in front
In case you stumbled
Then you realised where you were
And that was funny
But we travelled in style
Nervous as kittens
The calmness was leaving
You were relinquishing
Control
Which…
