Calm Carl
donate to Carl Chamberlain
Print

Poems

Staying In Is The New Going Out!

“STAYING IN is the new going out!” in the same way that whispering is the new way to shout.

“BLACK is the new White!” in the same way that the centre ground is the new right.

“FORTY is the new Thirty!” in the same way that clean is the new dirty.

Only STAYING IN isn’t the new going out.

Staying in is not a choice.

Although options are something we may openly voice.

To have them though, that is a different thing.

You may learn ALL the words but don’t you DARE sing.

SURE! Learn all of the chords but you’re not ALLOWED to strum.

You can be a percussionist but…NOT ON A DRUM

No reason you shouldn’t memorise the melody line.

However if you play it aloud, in public, you could be detained AND get a serious fine.

We never said ‘NEVER’ about coming together, just not all of you at the same time.

If you do, you’ll be breaking a new yet very old law of…health crime.

We’re stopping too much connection for your own protection.

We believe we are better, we sent you a letter via your phone, telling you to stay on your own.

It’s best for your health for you to stay by yourself.

Shop separately, while you’ve still got some money.

By the way there’s a limit on honey.

There are SOME LIMITS on eggs, fish, meat, rice and bread also on face masks, on milk, hand sanitiser, use soap instead.

We were a bit surprised and confused that your ultimate goal would be TP! I mean toilet roll.

We’ve told you the truth, the truth has been told.

Not all of it, there is some we’re keeping on hold…

…like LOCKDOWN is an option, a choice we ALL can make.

Just be careful about which options YOU take.

FOLLOW the rules, PLEASE stop gathering you FOOLS!

No reason to panic, complain & tut, if you continue, your doors will be shut.

We’ll lock you indoors while we spray the whole town and deal with the thousands who feel sick, cough, then fall down.

We can’t test ALL the Toms, Dicks and Harrys (okay Harry does have I.D. that he always carries meaning for him, testing is a walk in the park) but the rest of you can…remain in the dark.

Your usefulness to us is of little importance.

Your birth rights are: zero good luck and even less of a good chance.

Now go to your homes unless we need you to labour or volunteer to do us a favour keeping the economy’s head above water.

It is true we don’t care about your beautiful son or innocent daughter.

We care about our own, the people to whom we’re familiar, yes you’re human but you’re not very similar, you haven’t got history, money or class so when this virus overwhelms us, you can kiss our privileged, fat arse.

Poems