Calm Carl

Release The Pressure


I am trying to rhyme the passage of time and tell you the journey of Ms McInerny, how after a while and a trip down the aisle she became Mrs Chamberlain.

I'll begin as I do, in the beginning, when boys turn to girls and men turn to women, strange desires well up inside and they are not scared of the word bride!

Don't be surprised, don't be afraid, this was a time before you were made, when gentlemen didn't mean bog and being a lady wasn't such a hard slog, manners were better, people polite, children were good and always much quieter.

Joseph and Nora, yes those were their names didn't know squat about video games.

When she was little she played 'hoop and stick' and when he was little he thought cricket was quick.

Are you getting the idea, understanding the score or should I continue and compare us some more?

These two didn't hook up by chance, they met every week at their local dance, they talked very little but danced quite a lot and I am sure, at times, it got pretty hot. I mean in the summer and under the lights, not in his pants or in her tights, this was the time of courting and wooing not like now with all the froing and toing.

When passion was something that just had to wait, and kisses exchanged at her garden gate.

Joseph was gentle and Joseph was kind, Nora was patient, she didn't mind, Nora would laugh at the jokes Joseph told and ever so slightly Joseph grew bold. Nora would blush with her hand to her breast and Joseph would imagine the rest.

Soon came a time when they would meet in the day, for tea at her parents I would probably say. A quiet affair when fathers decide whether their girls become brides.

Would he let Joseph take Nora away? He was after all the one with the say, it isn't like now in Britain today where all fathers do, is pay. If they can be found and if they have thousands of pounds, then their involvement is clear; "don't drink the whisky stick to the beer!"

Well father approved and shook Joseph's hand, then our couple saved and they planned and as soon as you like the big day arrived and Joseph wondered how he'd survived the evenings he'd spent with his betrothed so very close but still fully clothed.

Nora felt it as well but by her demeanour you couldn't tell.

Her mother, who loved her, had said that it hurt so Nora had good reason to keep being curt, but Joseph was gentle and Joseph was kind and when Nora looked in his eyes she would find, love and affection, a sense of protection, a warmth from within, she knew what they had wasn't a sin, so she held Joseph close with a big Cheshire grin.

The church was full; the priest at his altar, Joseph prayed that he didn't falter. A quiet came down as the organ begun, the doors opened wide and let in the sun, Joseph turned to look at his bride and Joseph's face filled up with pride as father and daughter walked down the aisle.

'Smiling' Joe Chamberlain started to smile and that's what it's like inside my head the day my grandparents wed.

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